I DO TAKE YOU, FOR BETTER OR WORSE

Every girl visualizes the day she has her dream wedding, and for most women, marriage is something we look forward to. It never dawned on me that I too would make marriage one of my goals, something to aspire toward. Life has been quite a journey for me - this has been another life lesson. Many of my lessons are invaluable because no teacher or classroom could have provided such instructions, or prepared me for that which I have experienced as a woman and a wife. I am not at all unhappy but let me say, sometimes I think that I have been lied to.

This is not coming from the perspective of a professional, however it is meant to provide you with a snippet of my 9+ year’s journey through "marital bliss",never without complications. As I willingly entered into a marital arrangement with someone whom I considered my soul mate, I came to realize the what it means to be a partner. My husband is not only my life's mate, but someone I have known for many years, well over 20. Love him, hate him then love him again, this has been a real life saga of two very different people, making an attempt at co-partnering.

Who decided that people should do this anyway? Okay I know it was endorsed by the bible but darn! It ain't easy. Marriage makes sense- yes it does. I get to be with the one I love and enjoy a special companionship. I also enjoy a few fringe benefits- like sharing the cost of most expenses, enjoying monogamy (hopefully), and of course there is the bearing of children, although one does not have to be married to enjoy that.

Marital bliss/or martial blast?

Is there such a thing as marital bliss? Well at the beginning when all was new, we had lots of blissful moments and for many years. Long before the name calling and the arguments over who should do dishes and of course, my biggest pet peeve of all, leaving the toilet seat up, we were just dandy. Of course, bliss is what you make of it and you can have it for as long as you can, however, it has a way of dissipating.

We are two imperfect individuals and as long as there are two individual with difference of opinions and of course personalities, there will be issues. We have managed to deal with these issues, and it has made all the difference.

My single most important lesson is, "DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY"- How do I do that? Obviously like most humans I am affected mostly by the negative and positive things said by my husband,one of the persons who matters the most. His words can have the strongest impact, and lasting effect, especially the negative ones. Not taking anything personally is the hardest thing I have had to live by and to date, I have not been able to perfect the craft. After 9 years, I have taken a lot less personally but honestly, I doubt that I will ever be able totally shut out the more painful retorts of my husband. The hardest times of course are during our arguments. When my husband says anything, not usually much, he goes deep and I can’t help responding in kind.

So should the vow “for better or worse” be taken literally? Yes because it is real, life does become paradoxical. It happens to be the part of the commitment that each has to make and when, or if, you get to the part where those words are to be said, May some strong force be with you.

If you can endure and get through the times when it gets worse, you will enjoy MARITAL BLISS

HAPPY HAPPY 2010 - IT'S YOUR TIME!

ANOTHER DECADE? WOW! THIS IS YOUR TIME THIS IS YOUR YEAR- SO CLAIM IT!

As each year ends and another approaches, we all have aspirations and resolutions. How about making the new year yours. It may sound selfish- so what? Are you hurting anyone by making next year about you? I think not. Most folks make new year's resolutions about themselves and by the turn of the year they forget and the focus shifts from them to everyone else.

How about making 2010 the year you focus on yourself and all those gargantuan dreams that only you can control. Nothing stops us from making these changes but ourselves. If we do not take care of number 1, who will? Whatever your goal or goals are, spend some more "me time" just getting stuff done, let that be your focus. The folks around you will certainly respect you as they see you doing more for you. Remember it is not about being selfish or insensitive. No matter your intentions,as long as they are positive, JUST DO YOU!

WHO ARE YOU, A BRIDE OR A BRIDEZILLA?

Bridezilla Defined

According to the Webster's dictionary the following is a definition of BRIDEZILLA:Bridezilla\ bride-zil-a n 1 Horrific, bulging-eyed bride prone to screaming spells and spontaneous fits of hysterical rage. Bridezillas are known to drop blows over seating charts, get bug-eyed at the mere mention of carnations and view hurling champagne at their wedding planners as a form of hazing.

Not so, a lot of brides do not fit this definition as it is unfair to characterized them as such. It has been my experience that because of the very nature of the event, being one with extremely high emotions, many ladies go from one set of emotions to another. I call it PMS- Pre-Marital Syndrome.

As a retailer providing one of the most important part of the process – The bridal gown, I do find that most of the brides are quite open to suggestions. Although most have already made up their minds in terms of the kind of dress they want, they are fairly well behaved. There may have been a few who would try on all the dresses in the store and still have no idea of what they like but that is the exception.

I do enjoy sharing the experience with them and find that my job is easy as the occasion itself is one of joy and elation. If you think you are a Bridezilla, then try taking a few suggestions from me that will perhaps help you to diffuse the bomb you are building. Here goes:

1. If you are feeling too stressed, take a moment to walk away and find an activity that will help you alleviate the stress

2. After you have accomplished one task check off and move on to the next

3. Take your "real girlfriends" along to share in the experience of selecting the dress.

4 Remember, after selecting your dress, STOP looking!

6.This is your wedding and the only time (maybe) you get to have it your way-so go ahead and do just that.

7.If you are overwhelmed about the planning, hire (if your budget permits) a wedding planner- give them the headache- they love it!

8. Take one weekend off - no wedding talk or plans.

9. Be timely with your plans and you will have more time to relax.

10. This is not your mom's or anybody else's wedding so do not listen to the wedding horror stories- keep things positive

Favourite Quote

"YOU MUST BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD"
- Mahatma Ghandi

FRUGAL BRIDE-SMART GIRL

FRUGAL BRIDE-SMART GIRL!

Are you both Smart and frugal too? How about buying your wedding dress off the rack- they are NEW! Just may need a bit of cleaning after multiple try-ons in the store, but it is the same dress you would have ordered.

Some brides are particular about buying off the rack, they want it brand new and ordered. If you are not that girl then this is a frugal and smart way to buy a dress and still afford the honeymoon.

Some dresses are of course no longer available and that gives you a negotiating advantage. Prices are likely to be lower but of course the sizes are limited as many of the pieces are one offs. If you play it smart you can cut your wedding budget significantly and who does not love that?

Many stores are dying to get rid of the overstock dresses as they are constantly getting new inventories, and of course you are definitely at liberty to inquire.

Don't hesitate to get started and while you do, remember it is your right and prerogative to buy what suits your budget, after all it is your money!